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Lounge Marriage!

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by TEACH (AlSpath), Jan 3, 2015.

  1. TEACH (AlSpath)

    TEACH (AlSpath) Active Member Founding Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Likes:
    205
    Occupation:
    Poker Instructor
    Location:
    Maryland USA
    “Marriage is like a deck of cards.

    In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

    By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!”

    *****************************************************************

    "Marriage has a ring to it:

    Engagement Ring;

    Wedding Ring;

    SufferRing!"

    Ass Family.jpg Who's missing?
     
    Maureen Bates likes this.
  2. Spider

    Spider Active Member Founding Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2014
    Likes:
    79
    At dawn the telephone rings,

    "Hello, Señor Roy? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

    "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"


    "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Roy, that your parrot, he is dead".


    "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

    "Si, Señor, that's the one."

    "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

    "From eating the rotten meat, Señor Roy."

    "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

    "Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

    "Dead horse? What dead horse?"

    "The thoroughbred, Señor Roy."

    "My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

    "Yes, Señor Roy, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

    "Are you insane? What water cart?"

    "The one we used to put out the fire, Señor."

    "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

    "The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

    "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

    "Yes, Señor Roy."

    "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

    "For the funeral, Señor Roy."

    "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

    "Your wife's, Señor Roy. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new

    Ping G20 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

    SILENCE...........

    LONG SILENCE.........

    VERY LONG SILENCE…………

    "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."
     
  3. DRAikens

    DRAikens Member Lineage to Founders

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Likes:
    11
    Occupation:
    Maintence tech / operator
    Location:
    Kingman AZ
     
    Mimi33 likes this.
  4. DRAikens

    DRAikens Member Lineage to Founders

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Likes:
    11
    Occupation:
    Maintence tech / operator
    Location:
    Kingman AZ
  5. DRAikens

    DRAikens Member Lineage to Founders

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2015
    Likes:
    11
    Occupation:
    Maintence tech / operator
    Location:
    Kingman AZ
    LOL, maybe crazy is missing
     
    TEACH (AlSpath) likes this.
  6. vmlvadim

    vmlvadim New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2017
    Likes:
    23
    Location:
    France
    I have today Porcelain wedding and I should say we passed all the suits
     
    Hana, Juan and Mimi33 like this.
  7. Juan

    Juan New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2017
    Likes:
    11
    Occupation:
    artist
    Location:
    Spain
    funny-marriage-pictures1.jpg [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

    Mimi33 likes this.

  8. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2017
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    29
    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
  9. MrV

    MrV Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2016
    Likes:
    652
    Occupation:
    attorney at law (retired)
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    When the loving stops, the screwing starts.
     
    Mimi33 likes this.
  10. MrV

    MrV Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2016
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    652
    Occupation:
    attorney at law (retired)
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Poor Alan.

    Married a couple weeks,then the loony bitch serves him with annulment papers and throws him the fuck out of her Las Vegas home.

    Could be worse; could be raining.
     
    Mimi33 and Juan like this.
  11. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

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    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
    Very funny statement)));):oops:
     
    Juan likes this.
  12. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

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    Feb 17, 2017
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    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
    very funny!
     
    Juan likes this.
  13. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

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    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
    joke13.JPG
     
    Juan likes this.
  14. Pia Toomingas

    Pia Toomingas New Member

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    May 26, 2017
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    Occupation:
    Manager / Consultant
    Location:
    German
    Marriage is like a dance, at first when your learning it becomes exciting.
    Then when you memorize all of the step it becomes routine then your life.
     
    Mimi33 likes this.

  15. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

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    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
    JorMarriag.JPG )))))))))
     
    Juan likes this.
  16. MrV

    MrV Well-Known Member

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    Apr 8, 2016
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    652
    Occupation:
    attorney at law (retired)
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Q: Why is getting divorced so expensive?

    A: Because it's worth it.
     
    Juan, Pia Toomingas and Mimi33 like this.
  17. Pia Toomingas

    Pia Toomingas New Member

    Joined:
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    Occupation:
    Manager / Consultant
    Location:
    German
    Nice!!
     
  18. MrV

    MrV Well-Known Member

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    Occupation:
    attorney at law (retired)
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    [​IMG]
     
    Juan likes this.
  19. Alva_Heimdal

    Alva_Heimdal New Member

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    Occupation:
    IT Specialist
    Location:
    US Newyork
    LOL! Nice thread!
     
  20. Mimi33

    Mimi33 Member

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    Location:
    Poland,the European Union
    joke18.JPG
     
    Juan likes this.

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