Poker Poker Article - "Lending Money To A Friend"

“Lending Money To A Friend (Lose the Money, Lose the Friend)!” - by Al Spath

Have you found yourself in a situation where you knew whatever decision you made would end with your losing money, a friendship or both? If you say you can’t lend the money, someone will surely be offended and you may find yourself relegated from friend into “associate” category. If you say yes it is a very good chance that you won’t see the money again!

What can be unpleasant is asking whoever borrowed the money (and may now avoid you like the plague), “do you have the money I lent you?” If they are still “running bad” (and those who borrow seem to be always running bad, always just a little short, and always unable to manage a bankroll), your inquiry will always be received as impolite, inappropriate, bad timing, or being impatient.

So you go from “good [removed, pay to advertise]’ Joe,” to nasty “bill collector” type person. You can’t seem to ever get eye contact with them and they never come to your table, slap your shoulder and say “how’s it going.” On rare occasions they make the money, they are quick to pound their chests and tell whoever will listen how great a player they are, or buy an inordinate amount of drinks for their remaining friends (or newly formed posse), but they never seem to have enough to pay you all or part of “your” loan.

What is it about lending money that changes relationships and usually ends up with “giving” the money away not realistically believing you have a “shot in hell” to recover any or the full amount? You need to always think about the reasons why an individual “borrows.” Have you observed them do this with others and can they actually afford to pay back the money, survive their day to day living expenses and maintain their own bankroll? Do they live lavishly for a week or month and then return to a pattern of hitting up new “associates” (considered friends up to this point) for a “small loan?” How did it make you feel when you lent money to someone else who stiffed you, never seemed to remember the loan, the amount, how long ago it was, or how generous you were to “impact” your own bankroll and provide them a leg up at a time of need?

Recently new internet sites have emerged promoting online “lenders” who will “stake” players online in return for a portion of their winnings. One such site was GetAStake which appears to allow players to be staked into tournaments and cash games. Players first log onto the site (and it’s apparently the same at similar “staking” sites), and apply for stakes that are being freely offered by other participants. Stakes range in amounts from $1.00 (which are micro stakes); to the sky is the limit.

At most of these type sites, as I understand the process, once the player is approved for a stake they are notified that a backer has transferred money to him or her. The Player, or Horse in this staking race, plays in a tournament or ring game specified by the Staker, and posts their results on a specific forum thread dedicated to a particular stake result which depicts the win or loss of money.

When play is finished, most staking sites require the Horse to close the stake and are then notified how much to pay the backer. Note: there is usually a fee (about 5% of only what the horse wins). Upon completion of payment to all parties, points are awarded that help build a reputation for players, showing how much money they have won for backers.

It appears that the micro stakes are primarily used for building initial reputation. Some of the larger stakes provide the possibility for both horse and backer to benefit greatly and the “points” (ranking) are used as a barometer for future investors. These sites proclaim an additional benefit to new players is an opportunity to grow a modest bankroll with the utilization of a backer instead of “lending/borrowing” from and to a friend.

Options never before available seem to be available online now, although there are some that will say the overall results of these type ventures has yet to be determined. Longevity will be an opportunity for all of us to examine the data which so far is not that extensive or comprehensive. However, when we talk about lending money in the poker room it should bring you to one possible conclusion: “If you are dumb enough, gullible enough, and even eager enough to lend anyone money, expect to lose the friendship and the money.”

(Comments always welcomed)

 

Hi Teach.
So say the Horse lost all the stake. Who is responsible for getting it back? The website or the Staker? Does the site payback the staker then go after the Horse? Interested to know more (purely from a knowledge point of view I hasten to add).

 

Staked player loses, the staker is out the money, that's it.

Most websites make sure the staker is given their part of the winnings when the player wins.

The staker is the one risky the money, and risky whether they will indeed get their stake and profit from the player. Most do at reputable sites.

get-a-stake was a big staking site, back in the day.

 

Very interesting, thank you for the thread.