Lounge Quickies.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Today I tried to catch some fog.... mist.

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Crime in multi-story parking decks.... it's just wrong on so many levels.

 

How do you get a poker player to climb onto a roof?

Tell him or her, "drinks are on the house!"

 

Harley -

Regardless of our differences -

At times -

YOU never cease to amaze ME !

GOOD POST !

$...eE..$

 

What did the cowboy say when he lost his dog? Wait for it.................. Doggone.

 

Blonde Joke: The lawyers blond wife wanted to do something that he would like. So after her husband went to work she went to home depot and got a gallon of paint. Later that evening her husband came home. She greeted him at the door. She was all sweaty and tired. He saw that she had painted the den. He then asked her why she was sweating and painting with some many clothes on. She replied: Well I read the directions on the can of paint and the directions said to paint with two coats.

 

Then there was the story of the two blondes who were trapped for hours on the escalator when the power went out.

 

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Whats the difference between an epileptic oyster shcuker and a prostitute with diaherria?
How can tour room mate is gay?

 

A LOUD KNOCKING on the door wakes a man and his wife in the middle of a stormy night. The man opens the door to a stranger, who asks
him for a push.

“No way!” says the husband, slamming the door shut in the stranger’s face.

“Who was that?” calls his wife.

“Just some drunk asking for a push,” he answers. “It’s 3am and pouring with rain out there!” “You should be ashamed,” his wife replies.
“Don’t you remember that time when we broke down and those two guys helped us out? You should go and help him.”
Sighing, the man pulls on his coat and heads out into the pouring rain.

“Hello?” he calls out in the dark.

“Do you still need a push?” “Yes, please,” comes the reply.

“Where are you?” the husband calls out.“Over here,” the drunk replies. “On the swing".

 

Sure tickled my funny bone!