Lounge Fun

Lol.

 

Haha, brilliant that.

 

Godzilla, lol.

 

I stole this and laughed til I cried.. #8 is my favorite

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free
. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

 

yup

 

10!
19.

 

this is soooooo funny, I wonder who actually catches her farts?
Do they sniff test ( quality control obviously)

Do they/ she guarantee the total air in the jar is 100% fart or is it close enough ( like spike 80% is beating the casinoverse , lol rlmao)

Do they practice health and safety? As in are all jars free from the odd squirt of Faecal Matter that is scientifically proven to be present in each and every fart.

Are the farts collected upside down as we all know that warm air risers.

Are the farts collected through the underwear? Or from the naked anus? I would think that the underwear would act like a filter and if I’m paying for a jar of fart I really want my money worth.

If it’s naked collection, by a second party, can I apply for the job of collector?

lol. Cheers

 

My boots are made for walking ..